i was going to the loo the other day

and i saw one of my flatmate's chinese book.

it's like this book by a 19 year old girl (or written when she was 19)

about her studies in south africa.



and i decided that

i wanna do that too.

not write a book per se.

but you know...

"document" everything so that when i read this crap in the future

i can reminisce.

lol



So first of all.

let me do the introduction.



INTRODUCTION

I currently stay in Geneva, Switzerland.

Because i'm currently doing my internship in a small 3 star business hotel here.

i live in a flat.

rented out by the female boss of a chinese restaurant.

it's in a small yellow house.

3 bus stops away from the airport.

so yes.

we get some awesome commercial plane viewings.

not that anyone i know would be interested....



the yellow house is only 2 storeys tall.

we occupy the entire second floor which is 2 mirror imaged apartments.

but the lady boss removed the wall seperating the 2 apartments

and turned one of the kitchens into a bedroom (my bedroom)

so we have 2 toilets(1 for the guys and 1 for the chicks)

1 kitchen.

3 bedrooms

and 1 giant-huge living room.

and most of the time it's dirty to the point of being gross.
but hey.
i can support myself.
what can you do? :P


Here is an introduction of my flatmates.
In no specific order.
For their sake, I have given each of them a nickname.
My friends in Glion like Kate would definitely know who I’m talking about most of the time. Lol
Let’s just hope that some things are kept discreet.

Chubby
I call him chubby because…
Well because that’s what he is.
I have known chubby for about half a year.
He’s the first person I met in glion.
And it’s pretty amazing that we’re still friends. Jk
He’s one of my bf’s best buds in school.
And prolly the person I spend most time with aside from my bf.
(well from now onward it just MIGHT be more than my bf)
Chubby is a slob.
Gross and messy.
I swear to god no girl would DARE to use the loo after he’s done with it.
In his room
his clothes are scattered on the floor like bodies in a mass murder crime scene.
It’s almost like they died while trying to get away from him.
I’m exaggerating.
Or maybe I’m not.


Lil V
Lil V is the chick who lives in the room across from mine.
She used to work in a Japanese restaurant but quit or got fired.
Either way she’s not working there anymore.
She’s got a kind of Taiwanese look.
Usually she roams about in the apartment in paul frank shorts.
I often wonder why her thighs are not frozen off yet cos our apartment is FREEZING.
I’m guessing it’s just a few degrees higher than whatever’s outside
since our heating system only works if you attach yourself permanently to it.
Chubby’s got a thing for Lil V.
He even told his lady boss a.k.a our tenant.
FYI, chubby’s got a GF back in our motherland.
And Lil V has got a BF in France.
Soon, returning to the motherland.
We all know that Chubby’s got a thing for her cos he keeps talking about touching her “big white thigh”.
Which gave her the nickname “Da Bai Tui”.
I don’t think she’s aware of it
And yes. Chubby IS kind of perverse.
He’s kind of funny in a gross, loud and sick way.

Sis ? / ? Jie
I call her that because I honestly have no clue what her name is.
She’s been staying with us for a month
I’ve talked to her less than 5 times.
And she’s moving out soon.
The reason for me not talking to her is cos she leaves for work before I do.
When she gets back for lunch I’m leaving for my evening shift
When I get back she’s usually asleep.
I don’t know much about her.
· Except she’s older than me.
· Not a horrible person.
· Not someone I’m likely to be best friends with.

Serene
At least that’s what I think her English name is.
And I don’ even know what her Chinese name is.
Embarrassingly, my BF does know what her Chinese name is.
What makes that worse is that she’s my roommate.
She’s sweet.
More on the quiet side.
She actually comes from my hometown.
She works with Chubby.
So we do interact a little bit.
Like, after I get back from lunch and before I officially fall asleep.
I messaged her once to buy bread cos Chubby and I were hungry.
(I got her number from Chubby but didn’t save it)
She called me after she got back
And we were on the phone.
Me (in the bedroom): Hello?
Her (in the dining area): Wei? (Chinese hello on the phone)
Me: Who is this?
Her: Who is this?
[silence]
Both of us: AIYAH!
Followed by her coming into the bedroom.

Uncle
No one knows his name.
Everyone just calls him Da Shu (Uncle)
I’m kidding.
I think it’s just Chubby and me who don’t know his name
Or maybe chubby does know his name.
Well the rest of the people know each other cos they’re from the same school.
Uncle is prolly the last guy I can imagine getting into a romantic relationship.
Because he just seems so…
I don’t know what I’m talking about.
It’s like …
I can’t even think of anyone as an example.

V-day wasn't very special this year.
cos of the internship.
i was working from 6:30 am to 11:30 pm
and again from 5:00pm to 9:00pm.
on top of that,
my bf and i were a 1 hour train ride away from each other.

breakfast passed by relatively fast
i made an orange juice for this guy working at our reception
and he said that he was so grateful
he even gave me cheek kisses lol.

i told him that if that's what he gives for orange juice,
i wonder what he'll do for more.
lol

i was kidding of course.
i kinda regret making that joke now.
cos now i feel kinda uncomfortable around him.

anyways i knocked off at 9:00pm and was doing the closure at the reception when my bf came in.
all the way from montreux to pick me up from work
AND with a bouquet of roses.
it was so sweet.

i never thought of him as the flower giving type of guy
and frankly i'm not the flower receiving kinda girl.
i think it's quite pointless since they die and you can't do much with them anyway
i'd rather have a mug that i can keep and remember forever.
and i'm also SO NOT the rose kinda person.
they're so....
expected.
but i loved it.
it was so sweet, seeing him stand there
looking kinda awkward with flowers.


and i was HONESTLY surprised.
i had him penned as the kinda guy who wouldn't be caught dead with flowers lol.

we had dinner together at Boky after that
and that was V-Day for me.
sweet and simple.

Labels: Valentines day

*WARNING: This post is borderline sexist and contains references to male genitalia. If it could offend you then here's your indication to stop reading. PS: Singapore doesn't have any law regarding being sexist... do we...? PPS: Does not actually blogging geographically IN singapore change anything?*

So,I am more or less a full time waitress (INTERN) for 6 months
and
you'd think that i won't be able to learn anything aside from clearing dishes
and setting tables.
You, my dear, are WRONG

This morning,
after the breakfast shift
as I was clearing the usual things...
i had a REVELATION.

It suddenly hit me.
you see i was cleaning the chairs
and noticing as per usual how all the dirtier chairs has MEN sitting on them
i'm not saying that there were no clean guys.
i'm just saying that ALL the dirtier chairs were sat on by MEN.

and they all had a DISTINCT shape
it's always bread crumbs or croissant skin spckled into the shape of a triangle.
the V shape your legs make with the edge of the chair as the base.

now all the ladies are wondering
"HOW in the world do you make a shape like that?!"
because your mouth has to be aligned with your... crotch as you eat
in order for the crumbs to fall nicely into that shape

Unless of course....
THEY EAT WITH THEIR PENIS
i mean they already think with it...
so anything is possible right?